Love is an Adventure : Part 4

Earlier episodes of this story are here : Part-1, part-2 and Part-3.

With so many questions and lots of confusion, Keya lay on floor and slept there. In the morning, when she woke up, whole body was in pain but routine duties were waiting. After saying bye to Vihan at school, she got busy in kitchen. NImit woke up and briefly hugged her. This routine process felt odd to her today but at the same time thoughts started flowing…..

After all, he cares for me so much…

How can I think of my happy marriage as cage?

Not everyone is lucky like me to have a husband like Nimit….

It’s me who is not able to do anything….I cannot blame Nimit for that….

On breakfast table, while sipping coffee, Nimit stared at her. This lady in low bun had changed his life completely, he thought to himself. Any man feels contented and be successful only when he feels peace at home…..I am lucky, he talked to himself.

Why are you looking so tired? Did not you sleep well last night? Nimit asked.

Keya came out from thought chain suddenly.

Just overworked, she made it short.

Please take rest and take care of yourself, Nimit continued.

Why does he cares for me so much?

How could I think of going away from this guy? He has given me life, again thoughts took over.

I am not suffering. I am happy where I am, she silently convinced herself.

But the creator of life knows about your happiness better than you. In the afternoon, when she reached school to pick Vihan, she saw Ankur. She literally started walking in opposite direction. She had decided to not face Ankur again.

I do not want to make myself realize what leaders do and how I should take out time to follow my passion, she said to herself sarcastically.

But…….Better plans, as I said 🙂

Hi Keya, how are you doing today? Ankur was standing in front of him when she reached the second gate of school.

With no option, she smiled briefly and nodded. She did not care to ask him his or Revati’s well being.

Ankur stared at her for 10 seconds….

Keya, you look drained….Are you OK? Can I help you? With genuine concern, he asked.

I am OK and my lovely husband cares for me so much. He showed same concern today morning and if anything, I have to do, I will do it, Keya replied rudely.

Ankur was taken aback.

He just smiled and shrugged. Not able to understand, what went wrong, Ankur decided to move away. Keya breathed deep and went to pick Vihan. But her mind was on work.

I was not supposed to be that rude.

He did not do anything wrong to me. He just showed concern. Her left mind processed.

But why should he? What difference does it make to him? The right mind was ready with argument.

Well, he might be just like this, with everyone. I am taking it too personally….the left  mind resigned.

But she could not forgive herself. In the afternoon, when Vihan went for a nap, she accessed the Parents’ section in his Almanac. School was used to publish both parents’ phone numbers in almanac for the particular class so that parents can be in touch with each other. She searched for Ankur and found his phone number.

On dial pad, she entered the number but could not press Dial.

What will he think if I call him? Left mind started

Well, you just want to say sorry…there is no wrong signal. Right mind defended.

But he might be busy. I should not disturb him….left mind started finding excuses to not follow right mind.

Then leave message atleast, the right mind had instant solution.

Finally, she was convinced to say sorry via message. And this is how, the never ending message chain started.

[3:05:30 pm] keya : Hi Ankur, Keya here. Just wanted to say sorry about whatever happened at school gate today. I did not mean to hurt you.

[3:05:42 pm] Ankur : Hey keya, don’t be sorry. I was just concerned. Don’t think so much. Mood swings happen with everyone. I tolerate it everyday by being with Revati :-).

The prompt response and that “mood swing” word instantly spread smile on Keya’s face.

[3:06:22 pm] Keya : Thanks for the understanding. Revati is really lucky 🙂.

Keya was amazed at her own response but before she could think much, she realized the message was already delivered.

[3:06:40 pm] Ankur : Yeah, I too feel same way. Revati is lucky and Nimit is very lucky :-):-).

The statement violated her heart beats rate but she did not wanted to be over sentimental again.

[3:08:00 pm] Keya : Grass is always greener on other side :-):-).

[3:08:30 pm] Ankur : its only because we are habituated to see the greenery far away from us and have accepted that it cannot be ours.

Keya was dumbfounded. She did not expect one more life truth coming in flow of chat.

Do not want to start it again, let me cut it short, she told herself.

[3:12:00 pm[ Keya : So right. That’s how we have been nurtured and society has been formed.

[3:12:02 pm] Keya : Need to rush…..Thanks for your time Ankur.

Keya made it simple and short, without emotions and stared at phone screen.

[3:13:00 pm] Ankur : Sure Keya, please carry on. I will wait for your next message.

And again thought flow started at other end.

Why would he wait for my message?  She kept thinking while preparing dinner, while evening walk, while talking with neighbors. Ankur was ruling her mind today. She kept looking at notifications but there was no more messages from Ankur.

On dinner table, when Nimit asked about her day, she was irritated.

My days are no different. I am not doing anything different. Just taking care of your home and kid, she said loudly.

Nimit was shocked by her reaction.

Is she the same keya? He thought to himself but decided to not argue and got busy with his phone.

Keya wrapped up kitchen, helped Vihan for his homework, tucked him in bed and got into shower. But thoughts were overwhelming.

Why he did not send any message if he was so eager to wait for it? Left mind.

The latest technology and instant messengers have made us so impatient. We want everything instant because wait is always difficult.

Finally on bed, while Nimit was still busy with his phone, she took her phone and checked messages and felt shiver. Ankur’s message was there, almost 15 minutes ago.

[10:15:03 pm] Ankur : Waited for your message for whole evening. Seems you are busy. Hope you are enjoying evening.

[10:32:14 pm] Keya : Yup, had a busy evening. Hope you are enjoying evening too.

Almost 10 minutes and there was no response. She kept checking phone. And now impatient, she started cursing herself.

I was not supposed to respond. Why did I do it? Left mind….

Oh come on, don’t be silly. The way you were busy, he might be busy too….Right mind.

But why should I think about him? Left mind….

But before right mind could respond, she heard one more notification tone and checked phone again. It was most awaited message this time.

[10:46:55 pm] Ankur : Oh yeah, had a good evening.

[10:46:58 pm] Ankur : Planning to sleep?

For a moment, keya felt jealous and weird. How come he can have good evening while I kept thinking about him for whole evening? She could not control the sarcasm…

[10:47:03 pm] Keya : Yeah, I thought so…you must have  been enjoying evening because I did not see any message earlier.

[10:47:10 pm] Ankur : Wow, so you thought about me? Lucky I am J

[10:47:14 pm] Ankur : Would love to talk if you are not sleepy.

Keya was taken aback with this straight flirt statement.

[10:47:49 pm] Keya : Actually I am very sleepy. Good night.

And she saw one more prompt response.

[10:48:00 pm] Ankur : OK…Good night. Wake up happy. Talk to you soon.

Not sure where this chat was leading, Keya tried to sleep but one more consecutive night was waiting for her….to introspect, to silently blame, to decide something and to lay down on floor.

What do you think? Where this story should/would lead?

 

 

5 interesting and thoughtful observations from marriages I have witnessed

I know, I know…..Marriage is the most popular and doubtlessly most written topic but you know what?

Everyone, every time, every where finds it interesting, even if they are reading same post about marriage :-)….May be, they find something new every time, they read it.

With the same hope of the well-received post, when too many observations were dancing in mind, I decided to pen them down. Over to you poor (Oops, I meant dear) readers. Sorry can’t help 🙂

1. The FEMALE of the relationship is always right. Now you need to decide, who is the female in the relationship.
I have seen a guy wearing flower in hair, while accompanying his GF 🙂

2. The ANNOYER always maintains the same designation. The one who gets annoyed will never get chance to annoy the other one. Its like first come first.
I have observed one deep breathing while being annoyed by the other, publicly 🙂

3. With time, DRIVER in the relationship changes. So, never be happy, if you started first.
I have heard husbands driving kitchen and wives driving in bed, after 10 years of marriage 🙂

4. CHANGE of interest and increase in waist circumference (for one only) are the consistent factors of any marriage life.
I have seen couples look like mother-son or father-daughter, after few years of marriage. Interest in cricket changes to exhibition visits 🙂

5. SEPARATION is the permanent fear, one can offer to other, in relationship. Its like if you can fake to be brave, you are in.
I have seen husband getting out of drunk state, in a second, when they see the flashing screen on phone shows name of wife. Afterall, its a question of marriage life yaar 🙂

4 reasons we learn non-monogamy

Every other day, we hear about secret affairs/ extra marital relationships and someone being in multiple relationships at a time. While all of our response is big “haaaaaah”, understanding this changing behavior of society is interesting.

 

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Why anyone looks for option in relationship?

Why someone takes risk to live life fully, at a cost of existing “OK” life?

Why no value is effective when it comes to breaking societal rules?

  1. Unsatisfied emotional needs : A prime factor, leads any male/female to non-monogamy. Marriage or commitment does not guarantee emotional satisfaction. Sometimes, even after spending years together under common roof, a couple is not able to understand each other’s emotional needs and when one finds the compatible match, he/she definitely is tempted to go for it. It’s not that someone is desperately looking for option but when it happens, guilt is overruled by happiness of having someone like-minded.
  2. Secret pleasure : We humans, are risk takers. We love to do things which we are not supposed to do and that give us unusual joy and terrific confidence boost. That secret pleasure of texting/meeting/talking with someone secretively, gives a feeling of teenage, which everyone of us likes at any age 🙂
  3. Lack of variety in sexual life : A bitter truth of real-life, of marriage, of monogamy and of being into relationship. It might seem contradictory to all those love statements or all those love commitments but sex plays a major role in defining relationship between a male and a female. After being with same person for years, all those love makings feel like routine and humans do not like routine. We seek variety and there is nothing wrong in it.
  4. Phase of life and circumstances : Quite relevant to emotional dissatisfaction, this considers other factors like age, hurting in past, revenge feeling and many others. Of course, being in relationship, we all are expected to act maturity but it does not happen always.  Hurting from the partner, long term sickness, disinterest in sex, risk taking abilities, success and failures are major defining factors in getting into non-monogamy.

Conclusion?

Well, nothing can be concluded as something wrong for someone proves absolutely right for the other one. Therefore, this is just a matter of individual choices, maturity, understanding of societal pressure and above all, feeling of true love, for which everyone of us is always looking for.

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(picture source : Google.com)

A true love story nearer to my heart – Part 4

Previous episodes of this true love story can be read here : Part-1, Part-2 and Part-3.

As I said in previous part of the story, to describe Zoya’s feelings, after first meeting with Rachit, after years, this collection is perfect.

Decision to not meet or chase Rachit anymore was something, Zoya could never follow. Every morning, she thought about Rachit and decided to not think about him but single ping from him would change her mind in fraction of seconds. She found herself vulnerable for many times as not following her own decision was something, never happened to her. Why Rachit was still ruling her mind and why she could not ignore thought of Rachit for a moment?

They say, while growing as a part of society, you learn to prioritize your social responsibility over your own hidden personal emotions. But it was working in reverse manner for Zoya. In Zoya’s words –

Loving someone from depth of heart is something you do for once only as you have spent all your emotions and energy to nurture that love, virtually or physically. For me, it was never someone else and thinking about Rachit for every passing moment was the way, I had been living since years. Yes, I had responsibility as mother, as wife and as a person in society but that chirpy, always live ME was missing and I knew the reason well. And therefore I wanted to give myself that chance, to re-live the life, I always wanted to……while being in touch with Rachit. And therefore, I could never ignore those rare messages from him. I was not sure, what the expectation or hope on either side but I knew that I loved him more than myself and I did not want to let him go, even after years and even after knowing all the real life facts.

And that communication via WhatsApp and Skype and Phone continued for months, even after Rachit left for US. Single message from Rachit and Zoya was used to lighten up (Sorry again, Rachit….I am not sure about your feelings). Sometimes, I thought, Zoya was on wrong track. I tried to talk her for number of times regarding what matters practically and how she cannot go back to someone who is already settled well in his life. But then Zoya surprised me, saying she met Rachit again. Where her determination to not meet him again, did vanish? I asked for details, as usual. And her poetic words to re-live that meet again and again, conveyed that something very warm was being developed between both of them and I was happy and sad for my friend.

She did not think what society would say, how she will handle something she could not do in past, what risks she was taking and ultimately, whats the future. She just wanted to meet Rachit again and again for endless number of times.

Does everyone do it?

Don’t we think about society before our personal wish?

Don’t we measure every action of ours on the scale of society’s acceptance?

What happened to this mature and social personality, dotting mumma and dedicated wife?

Is that the reason, they say, LOVE IS BLIND as it dims out all the realities?

Whatever it was, Zoya was glowing. Her first picture with Rachit, when she showed me, I could read both of their expression in that still picture. For Zoya, that picture was one of the best. She told me, how she and Rachit talked for hours, walked hand-in-hand, lied down on same bed without touching each other and how a heartfelt first hug transformed the relationship.

And as per Zoya, she could see those flames of Love in Rachit’s eyes too………after years.

What do you think readers?

Can you fall for same person again, after years, when you are already busy with your own family?

Can you love someone when you know he/she is not going to be yours?

Can you think of living your past desires while compromising on present responsibilities?

And above all, should anyone do it?

As per Rachit, these all “Should and Would” are norms built by society where most of the people could not live their wishes and dreams. May be, he is true and maybe he is trying to convince that chaotic mind of Zoya, whose heart is already beating for him.

I am hearing that Zoya and Rachit had met for number of times now and have been in touch on daily basis. And this true love story is growing well. Wouldn’t it be interesting to visualize these lovebirds meeting at some hidden place and getting lost in each other?

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(picture : 123rf.com)

Stay tuned…..:-)

 

 

 

 

 

How good are you at being OIL?

I smiled silently. That eye-catching pattern created on surface of water, after I threw a spoon of oil in water, still and settled in the bucket.

How the factor called DENSITY creates magic like this, I talked with myself.

The peaceful morning allowed my mind to go on thinking and self-talking track and what I realized was –

Every relation in life is like oil and water. The only difference is pattern created on the surface of water. Isn’t it?

Hooh, I think I need to explain it.

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(photo : photographyblogger.net)

Consider yourself as still, settled water in bucket. During every phase of life, different oil drops will be thrown to you in terms of relationship. They can be parents, siblings, friends, enemies, colleagues and many more. Some oil drops really create beautiful design on us and leave us by making us more beautiful, or I would say meaningful – just like those pattern after throwing oil drops on water? Some oil drops just gather at the centre and try to create an ugly outcome, just the way those smiling people who are ready to back stab you.

What is the difference between those two?

Only ONE – Density.

Yes, Density is the only element which is responsible in creating good and bad designs on water, just as LOVE in human relationship.

Did I explain it?

No?

Dear reader, consider this post as mystery if you have not been able to understand the explanation and get busier in nurturing yourself to be able to create good patterns on any water surface, i.e. be with good density (oops!!! It should have been LOVE, right?) 🙂

Views?

This post has been written in response of daily prompt at wordpress.com http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/oil-meet-water/

Marriage – It’s a team, not a single player game.

Samar is sitting in front of me. His body language shows his frustration. His anger on small things like AC remote missing from the cabin, pen not working etc, clearly displays that he does not want to attend me or this meeting of our. Yes, I and Samar are sitting in a meeting room in our office. I am working with Samar since last 2 years. He joined as junior but his enthusiasm and capabilities led him to great exposure and most of the time we both share project assignments together.  He recently got married and went on vacation for 3 weeks.  Its been 5 weeks now, he had re-joined.

But since last few days, I observed that Samar was not in his CHILL mood. He was getting angry, was not accepting facts, was not attentive and was not able to complete work in time. I used to pull his leg that marriage has changed him so much and most of the time I saw a sad smile on his face. I could not ask him what was the matter because I do not believe in involving myself personally with anyone till someone does not want to share. Or you can say that I am patient enough to wait for the time, someone opens up himself on his own. But today I could not resist myself. We had a big fight in between team meeting and everyone was shocked. I was just mentioning points for our future task related to project and in front of everyone he neglected me and started talking on phone. This was unbearable. I asked him to cut off the phone and concentrate on task but he did not.  I was taken a back by this behavior. I completed that team meeting and decided to complain to management about it. But again, thanks to my Virgo attitude. I thought to analyze things before making decision and so decided to talk with him.

I asked him to join me in a meeting room and he followed. I tried to be as casual as possible and started as “Marriage has changed you so much. You are looking for Neha (his wife) everywhere and every time”. To this, again I saw a sad smile. I was quiet and he too was. We sat there for 5 mins and then I asked gently, what was the matter. To this, Samar denied to share anything. I tried to convince him that it should be fine to share with someone and at least to me as we were knowing each other since so long. His voice started breaking and I saw that teary line in his eyes.  He started –

I married with Neha with so many dreams in mind. I thought life will be beautiful when I will have a companion for lifetime. We will be together always. We will dance together, we will enjoy that first rain together, we will discuss everything, we will share everything, we will achieve everything, we will do everything in life. I was so happy. Although our social custom does not allow to meet bride and groom before marriage, I called her for couple of times. Actually I was totally impressed with her beauty. I wanted to talk with her, wanted to know about her but never got a chance. Even while talking on phone, she had always someone beside so she did not talk much. And we got married. I was on seventh cloud by marrying this beautiful lady. On the next day of our marriage, we flew to Kerala for honeymoon. But my dream broke like glass when  I realized that Neha is completely a villager, who does not speak fluent English, who is very much reserved and stubborn and who does not know how to share, how to love, how to talk……and endless things. I felt like falling from 100th floor. What was this…I could not understand. I tried to talk with her but she denied. I tried to touch her but she started crying. I did not understand what to do. We lived like room mates in that hotel room of Alleppy, where I thought to create bunch of good memories. And even after coming back, we are living as two creatures in the house. I want to see a smile on her face when I go back to home, I want to do fun with her, I want to go for a walk with her, I want to discuss my life and plans with her but she does not respond. And that makes me uncomfortable, upset, angry and sad. I am not sure what to do and how to handle this. We have long life ahead and I am not sure how life would be with this situation.

Samar completed and was almost crying. I was shocked. What I thought and what is the reality. I did not understand what to say and how to console him. Again we both sat quietly for 10 mins. I asked Samar to accompany for coffee and he agreed. Sharing his story with someone would have made him feel better. We went to coffee shop nearby our office. While sipping coffee, I asked Samar if he knew what Neha’s likes and dislikes, interests, plans, fears etc. Samar responded that she does not talk with him anything. I asked him to take her to the temple (I assumed that the way she grown up, she must be believe in GOD and must be visiting temple regularly). He can start talking with her in that serene environment. He can share his daily life and his plans and somehow make her talk. I tried to explain him that marriage is not something, you can break easily. It’s a team. You have to work together. If your team mate is weak or not suitable, its your responsibility to make him strong and suitable. I asked him to keep patience and put some extra efforts. We discussed about ideas where he can make Neha talk. I asked him to share jokes and fun things with her and behave with her like a friend. He needs to give sometime to her to open up herself.

Again I am leaving this story without end. I don’t want to write about success or failure Samar faced. I want to point out something else. Most of the couples today think that if they can not adjust with each other they can separate and live their own life. Financial independence is the main factor which meads people to think like that. But I want to convey that marriage is more than MARRIAGE. It’s a unity, a team, a bonding, a story of being together. It does not matter in which circumstances, you have got married. You should always give your 150% try to your marriage before thinking about separation. Always put extra efforts when it comes to relationship because they do not come to us so easily and believe me, GOD always puts you with people, who share same frequency. So try to adjust and learn to share and open-up.

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Keep smiling readers and keep writing feedback :-).