Wednesday cannot be better than this 🙂
Click, click, click….
The camera said tick…tick…tick
I was quick…quick…quick
And suddenly, my eyes did not blink…
Without wait I sneak
Could not stop to think
Looking at friend, I wink
As I see magic
Wanted to have a link
To capture that lick
Enough is not the word to drink
Hands were on camera to pick
Knowing what could be the risk
Confidence of mine shrink
I act on the fear to kick
And concentrate on lick
Am I becoming a freak?
Are they kink?
Not sure…. again I peek
And it’s still on…the magic
Would you wish to be alike?
Not sure why updating about love stories via words is always so difficult. I would rather prefer to tell this story in person to see and understand reaction but I know, its not feasible. So let me make you virtual part of Zoya and Rachit’s life, to see, feel, understand and experience what love is and believe me, it never ends.
While being truly into each other and most of the time away from each other, these madly in love couple never felt distance as a barrier. Rachit increased frequency of India visits and Zoya was used to run away with him over weekends, on the name of travel for work. Being with each other for the little time, made them understand how intensely they wanted to be with each other and what all kind of adjustments they were ready to do in real life, just to spend some time with each other. With every passing day, the love plant was nurtured by warm hearts and dreams of being together. But as they say, nothing continues forever. Life took a turn and put Zoya and Rachit on opposite ends.
That small moment of love started growing inside Zoya and she was scared when it was confirmed. It was not that she was fearful about society but she was not sure what to do. With Anup, her husband, she had rare physical relations and being nicer, Anup never forced about it. Her pregnancy announcement would have definitely raised questions, if not from anyone else, from Anup for sure. Zoya was thrilled with an idea to nurture the seed of love of Rachit and hers but of course, real life does not work with thrills only.
Zoya talked with Rachit and he was thrilled too but was not sure what to do. He was in US and was about to leave for a vacation with his family. He asked Zoya to visit US but confirmed that he will not be able to cancel the planned family time. That gave a strange vibe to Zoya.
Was she alone who enjoyed those love moments?…..No.
Would she have done same thing to Rachit for any relevant matter?…..No.
Was Rachit ready to face Anup or anyone else, if Zoya will announce pregnancy?.….No.
Zoya never asked for emotional support to anyone else, other than parents and best friends, during any phase of life. She felt weak when Rachit seemed restrained in his responses. With a formal tone, when Rachit hesitantly asked her, if she wanted him to be with her, she denied. After all, many other matters were taken care being alone in past and she felt it was not going the way she had expected. After some discussion, Rachit gave freedom to Zoya to decide about it and assured to be with her for whatever decision she would make.
Already two weeks had gone past missed date and morning sickness was showing up. Physical and emotional weakness was taking over. With no multiple options, Zoya decided to abort the dream of her life. She always wanted to have a kid with Rachit because she knew the love chemistry between two smart people would definitely be a reason of jealousy for the world. But who gets everything they want?
She went to gynecologist the same evening, after discussion with Rachit. While ultrasound, when she saw that tiny dot on screen, her eyes got teary. No one other than her would have ever understood the pain, she felt inside. She explained to doctor that her husband was in US and this pregnancy was a result of an unprotected moment. Doctor asked her to think again but she made it clear that she cannot continue with the pregnancy. Finally doctor asked her to be present with her husband for abortion. Zoya was terrified. How she would tell Anup that she was pregnant when she knew that Anup and she did not slept in same bed since long? She kept arguing with doctor that her husband cannot be back from US for this and ultimately, after long round of arguments, doctor was convinced. She asked Zoya to be present with any one supportive person and Zoya agreed, not knowing to whom she could ask for, to be together.
Very next moment after coming out of clinic, Zoya sent those ultrasound images and her decision to Rachit. He was almost on plane, leaving for vacation with family. Both were emotional and no one could console the other. Zoya, with a mountain of guilt about not able to keep alive the dream cried hard at one end and at the other end, Rachit too could not control tears. What a destiny!!
The other day, Zoya told Anup that she will have to be at work for more than 12 hours as the team was supposed to deliver the final version of product. Working in same field, Anup could understand and as usual, was supportive. Zoya left home early in the morning, without eating anything, as per doctor’s instruction. Her lifetime best friend, Trisha, was accompanying her. Zoya did not tell anything to Trisha and Trisha did not ask for details. I think that’s how best friends are. You do not get into details but you are there for the other. Rachit and Zoya were in touch with each other via WhatsApp. Rather than some words of being guilty of not being together, he did not have much to say. And the moment was there.
Zoya was asked to be in Operation Theater and at the entrance, she stopped and cried hard. This was not she imagined as a part of worst dream of her life. The pain of being lonely was unbearable but no one other than Trisha, who was completely unaware about details, was there with her. She walked into Operation Theater with heavy heart and followed instructions from team of doctors. Within couple of minutes, she was unconscious. Doctors completed the work in an expert manner and Zoya was shifted to the private room where Trisha was waiting for her. Looking at Zoya, Trisha was surprised. Her beautiful, head strong and chirpy friend was transformed into weakest person, Trisha had ever seen. She took some pictures of Zoya to discuss about it someday with her. Zoya gained consciousness within couple of hours. Due to some social emergency, Trisha had no choice but to leave Zoya. Being alone in that room, Zoya stared the ceiling. Tears found their way and that moment made her realized, she never felt that lonely in her life.
Why Anup or her parents were not with her? Because she had to hide this from them. And why she had to hide it? Because she did something which she was not supposed to.
Why Rachit was not there with her? Because Rachit had to be present with family for vacation time and Zoya did not want to lose her “strong girl” image, by asking Rachit to be with her.
Why that loneliness was unendurable? Because when you know, you have half city known but you cannot ask anyone to be with you, there cannot be any other more tragic situation in life.
Zoya cried and cried. She sent messages and her pictures (which Trisha had taken) to Rachit but there was no response from Rachit. An hour, two hours, three hours…but there was no response at all. The one, who promised to be together, had almost disappeared.
After 3 hours, with the help of hospital staff, she recollected herself and completed formalities of discharge while holding certificate of abortion. It was humid afternoon and she was not able to even walk properly. Going home in this situation was not a good idea and there was no other place to go. She got into rickshaw and asked him to drop her at temple. She found a lonely bench near temple and sat there. Feeling thirsty, she did not have stamina to go and buy a bottle of water. She kept sitting there till late evening until it was complete dark and her body strongly declined to follow instructions of mind to be awake. She saw responses from Rachit after 5 long hours and responded to some. Finally, Zoya had no choice but to go home as Anup had already called for twice.
At home, Anup and Navya were shocked after seeing her. She tried to convince them that she had a bad day at work and needed some sleep. In bed, she could not control and after a long day of emotional and physical pain, she slept. When she opened her eyes, she was in hospital room and found Anup and her parents around. Now it was her turn to be dismayed.
What if Anup and parents have known about the pregnancy, was the first thought in her mind?
Apparently, no one uttered single word. Zoya learned that, she bled heavily after she slept and when Anup came to check on her, he had to call Ambulance. For 36 hours, her parents and Anup were with her without eating anything, while trying to understand what was wrong. Zoya felt mountain of guilt.
The person who was responsible for the situation was enjoying vacation with his family and here her family was messed up. She kept asking herself, why she had to go through the pain alone? Why Rachit was not there with her? Why she had to give up on best dream of life? But there was no answer and she knew she was not going to find answers easily. Actually, she was not worried about answers anymore. She had decided something and had asked her mind to take over her heart.
Did the love story really end here?
Should the love story end like this?
Could Rachit have done better?
Why wrong moments teach us right thing?
Stay tuned to learn more about this love birds, who had once promised each other to be with each other, no matter what the situation……Foundation of true love is not that weak or I should say, life always gives third chance to everyone, including Rachit :-).
I look out of the window
And my heart started singing
My body is dancing on rhythm
Yes, rain is here…
With lots of memories
And lots of desires
Suddenly I feel like
The plant of dried soul got watered
Why you are here again? I ask
To remind you the love…..the first love
The first monsoon when you both dreamed together
But oh rain, he never came back, I cry
And rain hides my tears…..
I still remember you, my love
Every time when I see poured blessing of sky….
But I have learned to live now
A Book and a cup of tea in rain
Works like a best friend in loneliness
The romance in book excites me
And I remember how rain was used to be
Those paper boats and puddles
Those little feet had spring in it
Everything has changed..
I take deep breathe to consent the change
But the melody of rain prompts another one
That bindaas dance in rain
Without waiting for storm to settle
Those wish to go ahead
Without knowing rules of life
That wish to live it fully
Without knowing what being alone means
Those wish to fly in the sky
Another sip of coffee
And I still gaze at surrounding
Those mirrored roads bathed in rain
Reminds me, life is short
And I run fast, holding the keys…
Driving on those coal black roads
The fresh air and smell of wet sand
Unmatching honesty of Mother Nature
My heart is singing again
And I have worn a real smile….
(pictures : google.com)
Those droplets of water
When started pouring
My wishes got wings
Eyes got uninvited dreams
And heart went on perpetual journey
How perfect it would have been
To be on beach at this time
To talk with you silently
To make castle of wet sand
To look at never ending water
To walk with you infinitely
And allowing rain to make us miserable
Suddenly, you remember
“we should have it, rightnow”
You say mischievously
I try to read your eyes
But fail to understand
You hold my hand and start walking
I get shiver in spine
Anticipation of next few moments
Excitement of being with you
Happiness of being in rain, finally
And you suddenly wake me up from my rain dream
“Here is your garam chai ki pyaali”, you say
And I still see same smile on your face
Not sure to smile on my daydream
Or to be angry with your stupidity,
I sip tea while looking at you,
Thinking what kind of coaching you need
I smile silently and wink at you….
My love, I finally utter
But before I could speak,
You jumped in….
Ï know you want second cup of tea
And I laughed….
My idiot, I want to dance with you in rain,
I speak silently with a wide smile
Every day comes with a different feeling – Monday with blues, Tuesday with Ohhhs, Wednesday with middles, Thursday with waits and Friday with Finally :-)………… Yes, finally its Friday and weekend starts…After a tired and stressful week, Friday presents an incredible feeling of relaxation.
Here is a visual presentation of how my weekends are…remember, I am not LUCKY (because I am married, unfortunately happily), I am a mother (of one only, hoooh), I have limited friends (as I am not a “group”person), I love naps (because I am sleep deprived), and books and coffee are my first non-living love :-)….
A relaxed lonely weekend morning when I will not have to run around and can read my favorite book with coffee.
Little afternoon nap that energizes me for those best evenings of weekend.
Being a kid again with kids is something, my weekends are filled off.
Being in kitchen with hubby….yes, we cook together while gossiping, laughing, chopping, discussing and drinking coffee (ohh, too much coffee? Never mind, its weekend).
Friday night is a family Maggie and Movie night, we have been celebrating since long…wearing Pajama, laying down on couch, eating Maggie and watching Movie is an incomparable fun.
Meeting friends and chit-chatting on every possible subject is one of the best relaxation time for me.
Saturday night is all about a long drive on lonely roads at mid-night, while romantic numbers are played in background and kiddo is happily sleeping in back seat.
Cleaning is the last, most ignored but “have to” task for the weekend and people at home feels safe outside home, while I am on cleaning mission 🙂
Dinner date with family is a “must” follow rule and it’s the best time of weekend.
And after all fun, saddening Sunday evening, which reminds to get back to the routine again 🙁
So, that’s how Friday feelings are….. How about you? How do you spend weekends?
Pictures source : Google.com
The dark and rainy night out there
The thunderstorm of emotions inside
The never ending salty ocean out there
The heartwarming sweet river inside
The loneliness in crowd outside
The companionship for life inside
The right combinations outside
The perfect match with all imperfections, inside
Battling between this in and out
Trying to balance this in and out
We lost so much of life by being away
We lived so much of life with memories only
We waited so much of life for perfect time
Lets forget the world
Lets cross the time sea
Lets melt into each other
Lets do what we have been made for
Lets build life with each other
Let me look into your eyes
And let me tell you,
I love you to the moon and back 🙂