Love is an adventure : Part 5

.This story started as Part-1 and grew to  part-2, Part-3 and Part-4..

And after one more night of self blames and half sleep, Keya checked phone as first thing in the morning.

A Good Morning message from Ankur spread a smile on her message. It was just 10 minutes back. She replied with smile and headed to kitchen. It was still dark out there. Winter months make it tough to get out of blanket but once you are out, a cup of ginger tea and some time for yourself always make your day start wonderful. After pouring her tea in that beautifully crafted “Wifey” mug, which NImit brought for her from his last trip to Australia, she sat on couch. After confirming phone notification tone on highest, she was disturbed.

Why did not Ankur replied?  She thought.

Human mind is the most volatile organ of the body. Keya decided to cut off the communication with Ankur and one Good morning message from him, melted her.

Why all of us are always in search of more?

Why are we not habituated or nurtured to feel the blessings we have in life?

Why as a human, we want to find best match for our mind and heart and body?

Why slightest change of routine attracts us?

One more notification tone and Keya was again out of thought loop. She reached to phone and her heart raced. She quickly unlocked the phone and reached to messenger app but it was not Ankur. With heavy heart, she got up and tried to by busy in kitchen. But her ears were eager to hear notification tone and every time she heard it, she reached to phone and grew disheartened.

Why am I waiting for his response?  She thought to herself.

After dropping Vihan to school, she really got busy with routine day. While sipping second tea with Nimit, she looked into his eyes and felt guilty.

How can I even think of other man? Again a self-thought and she tried hard to ignore it.

Let’s take lunch together today. I will come home, Nimit proposed.

Why suddenly? She could not hide her discomfort.

Why is he trying to be nicer to me? Her mind was at work

I thought we will have sometime together. Why are you so surprised? Do you have any other plan? Nimit asked.

Not at all. No plans. Call me whenever you leave from office and I will keep lunch ready, she said dryly and resumed routine.

Once NImit left, she checked phone again but phone battery was drained. She got irritated and plugged in the battery. This was the routine case for her. Most of the times, phone battery was drained and she did not realized it for hours. She never felt a pinch of irritation due to that. Today phone felt like a lifeline to the already growing frustration of not received response from Ankur.

After shower, she came back to phone and restarted it. There were 4 new notifications and with hope, she quickly opened the messenger app. And yes, finally all the messages were from Ankur.

[10:52:34 am} Ankur : Hey Keya, hope you enjoyed busy morning.

[10:53:00 am] Ankur : I hope you slept well. Hope your day is coming alone well. I missed you in the morning. Had an ice-cream for breakfast and I recalled our ice-cream date :-).

Keya read the messages for multiple times.

He cares so much for my day, my feeling and yes, only after one ice-cream together, he missed me. And Nimit? He never misses me for anything, Keya’s mind started comparing without second thought.

That “ice-cream date” word made her blushed. She immediately sent response.

[11:02:00 am] Keya : Hi….Yes, day is good. Thanks!!

[11:02:37 am} Keya : Oh yeah, I remember ice-cream time and talk 🙂.

Not sure what to write, she stared at screen.  But in fraction of second, she saw response.

[11:03:00 am] Ankur : what do you remember about that talk?

[11:03:45 am] Keya : Almost everything….Not sure where to start, Keya replied.

[11:04:40 am] Ankur : Do you remember that leadership conversation?

[11:05:03 am] Ankur : I would be really happy if you can start something for your happiness…something, which can make you happy…..Please.

Reading that Keya almost got tears.

What a difference!! The one, who should be motivating, must not have even thought about it and this barely known man is encouraging me to be happy.

[11:07:00 am] Keya : Yeah, will do something soon. Thanks again :-).

The chat went on for an hour while exploring each other’s hobbies, interests and much more about everyday life. Both of them found each other so similar in many terms. Suddenly, she saw something on screen which made her smile again. Ankur had sent his picture asking for her smile in return.

Not fond of selfie, Keya tried to take selfie from different angles but was not satisfied with result. After a  promise to send the picture soon, she hurriedly left to pick Vihan. But her mind was working on ideas to take good picture.

From not interested in posing for picture to thinking about taking good selfie….Keya loved the change in herself.  By the time, she reached back home with Vihan, Nimit was already home for lunch. Keya promptly asked Nimit to take her picture. Nimit could not believe it. In past, whenever he offered to take picture for her, she always ignored.

Nimit took out his phone happily but before he could click, Keya came running…take picture from my phone, please. Another surprise for Nimit but he was happy. He clicked 3-4 pictures for Keya and gave the phone back. Keya immediately sent one of the picture to Ankur, while Nimit and VIhan waited for her for lunch.  Even while eating lunch, Keya kept smiling while looking at phone, where Ankur praised her for her fresh look and beautiful hair. Nimit noticed those little changes but did not want to judge anything.

After lunch, Vihan laid down for nap and Nimit left for work. And another session of long chat started. Not sure where they were heading, Ankur and Keya were enjoying virtual company of each other.

But that night became unexpectedly decisive night for both of them. Want to know, how?

Stay tuned 🙂

 

 

 

 

Closed eyes and mind at work, this combination

Closed eyes and mind at work, this combination most of the time, leaves the human being with a world called dream. Preyaa too was in the same world today. She closed her eyes and re-lived those days again. Those 12 days, where life was full and beautiful. Those 12 days, when she was treated as princess. Those 12 days, when love bloomed and grew. Her honeymoon with Ravi at ALPS, yes, at Alps. The white bed sheet of snow on mountains and the same white snowy smile on Ravi’s face, she was in love. She was mad. And Ravi too replicated same behavior. He was madly in love with Preyaa. They talked, explored, made love, talked till 4 am in the morning and swallowed life fullest. So much happiness and love was around. She felt so beautiful when Ravi sang a song appreciating her beauty, in those White Mountains.

And suddenly she opens her eyes. Oh my God, the dream has been spoiled. She is amidst the demanding office chores. So many things, she is supposed to finish before running to home. HOME – its no more home now. Its just a house. She has been living with Ravi in same house but now that warmth of relationship has been disappeared. After completing two years of marriage, they found themselves busy with work and career. Their ambitions have now overwhelmed them and as far as Preyaa remembers, its been a week since they both sat together and talked about anything. Most of the time, they are busy and running and talking about requirements and schedules. If schedule clashes, it results in a big fight. FIGHT – the word, they decided to hate the most. They decided to not fight and even if it happens, they should make up within 2 hours. Now a days, fighting results in silence of more than three days consecutively. Preyaa tries to remember, when it was the last time, she looked at Ravi with love or even gave a look to him. She is very busy and so Ravi is. And that increasing silence never gave them an opportunity to talk about their future, to talk about their family planning and just to talk about anything. They are just like room mates rather than a married couple.

And today, while searching for something, Preyaa navigated to a blog where a female described how she was enjoying her marriage life even after 25 years of marriage. She gave it a thought. What was the missing thing in her marriage, which made it the most unbearable thing on the earth? And she decided something. She locked her computer and went to her manager and asked for a half day sick leave as she was feeling feverish. Her manager was shocked as since last one year, Preyaa did not ask for sick leave even while she was burning with 104 temperatures. Although he granter her sick leave and she ran out of office like anything.

The mission is started. She went to the nearest gift shop and bought the peppermint flavored candles and flowers. Then bought some groceries for today’s dinner. After almost 6 months, she was going to prepare dinner on her own. She had a song in her walk and a charm on her face. By evening, she prepared those favorite dishes of Ravi – Spinach curry with paneer, garlic naan, vegetable pulao and spaghetti. She decorated the dining table with all the dishes along with flowers and candles. Now, it was her turn. She took a bath and wore that red sari, Ravi gifted her while on honeymoon, with golden sleeveless blouse.  She did a light makeup and got ready with basic hair style. When she looked herself in the mirror, she realized that she was seeking this moment since long. Today, she was confident because she found herself beautiful.

And the doorbell rang and her heart started racing. What will happen now? What if Ravi will not respond? How will he react? So many thoughts in her mind. She just switched off all the lights in her HOME, and the only light available was from those candles, on dining table. She opened the door slowly and Ravi came in. For first few moments, he did not even notice Preyaa and went to his bedroom (yes, since last few days, they were not sharing the bedroom) and put his laptop bag. When he went to refrigerator for water, he realized that light from candles and saw that decorated dining table. Now his eyes were searching for Preyaa. He almost ran to her bedroom but she was not there. He looked into kitchen and drawing room too. He shouted her name in anxiety. And suddenly a sweet voice singing the song “I am with you and only with you, always” came nearer to him. The magical moment from their honeymoon time was successfully re-created by Preyaa. He could not speak anything. He just carried her. Both of them were speechless and a lump in their throat. How much they needed this private time with each other, during their busy life? Today, everything was heaven and everything was beautiful. Ravi kissed Preyaa on her forehead and said “Thank you”. In response to that, Preyaa smiled and started helping him for dinner.

So, sometimes in our routine life, its really necessary to re-create those magical moments of past. These little efforts and initiatives can save our lives and relationships by becoming trustless and worthless. We are here to live and we are the only persons, who can make your life, a LIFE.

So start re-creating those magical moments of your past and lighten up your present J.

Love is an Adventure : Part – 3

Ankur and Keya, Just one casual meeting at annual function in school and it all started. Earlier parts of this story can be read here – part-1 and part-2.

After meeting in super market and having ice-cream together, Keya was awake till late, thinking about each other. When someone, almost unknown, makes you realize that life you have lived so far was just a waste, you feel worthless. Keya kept thinking about it. Ankur was not wrong.

Not able to find time for her own was the excuse she had offered everywhere and to everyone till now. What was the reason? She was not used to be like that. Why all her hobbies and passions had died suddenly? She looked at Nimit. He was sleeping like a rock. Keya went out in balcony and looked at sky, breathing deep. Life with Nimit for 10 years came alive.

As everyone claimed, Nimit was a good husband. There was no harassment, no abuse and no stress. But was it enough? Nimit was a kind of lethargic person since long and he never took interest in anything else other than his business. No support or help at home and dependency for everything were Nimit’s characteristics. Any non-business related activity would always face rejection from Nimit. In the beginning, Keya was used to manage her hobbies and Nimit’s dependency both. But with time, and after delivering Vihan (her son), she got busier in routine life. Everyday, for once, she was used to regret about the life she was living and how she had to leave everything behind to nurture two kids – Vihan and Nimit.

As they say, you become like the people, with whom you spend time. For Keya, all the friends and creativity were left behind. She would not have talked with any person other than Nimit and maid for days. Whether she liked it or not, just to bear the routine life, she had to struggle while fulfilling all the unsaid demands of Nimit. With time, she started feeling more tired, more exhausted and drained everyday and it was mental drain rather than physical. Her weekends gradually turned into couch+TV combination while serving Nimit and Vihan and running around for all the extra work needed to be done. Her subconscious mind had accepted that this is the life she was supposed to live and she was almost out of that complaint mode. But today, very casually but strongly, Ankur had conveyed something which had awaken her soul. So many questions suddenly filled up her mind…

Why I am feeling trapped in marriage life with Nimit?

Why it is mandatory for me to be into marriage when I know this marriage is not working for me and it has just given me additional responsibility of two people?

Why I do not feel strong enough to live life on my own way and why I have accepted the life, which I would have never lived otherwise?

Why I feel like I am being taken for granted but not able to do anything about it?

What happens to me if I decide to leave Nimit?

How valid it is for me to waste my life for someone who does not even understand meaning of life?

Why I am not ME, when I am with Nimit? Why I have to be so conscious every minute?

Why as a human I have to suffer silently on the name of marriage?

Why all my desires are supposed to be suppressed just because I am married or a parent?

Many  of us, being male or female, might be feeling this way in marriage, while posting happy pictures on social media. Do we have answers to Keya’s questions?

Love is an Adventure : Part 2

Keya and Ankur, met for first time in school function of their kids. You can read part of that story here.

Before Keya could forget first meeting, Ankur was in front of her again. This time, in different surrounding. While Keya was looking for Nimit’s favorite crackers at super market, she saw that warm smile again. While she was still in dilemma to go to Ankur or not, she saw him coming to her. Unconsciously, she pulled down her waist length pink shirt and made hair with hands.

 

Hey Keya, Ankur waved from a feet length.

She just smiled.

How are you? He asked casually.

I am good. How is Revati? Keya tried to divert the talk, while trying to not give wrong signal to Ankur.

Oh, she is doing good but still not recovered completely, Ankur replied.

And 10 seconds long silence, where both of them did not know what to talk about.

OK, I need to leave….see you soon, Keya tried to sneak out but her mouth spoke her mind. She wanted to see Ankur soon, again.

If you are not in hurry, let’s have ice-cream together, Ankur offered.

Ummm….ok, confused Keya could not say No. When she could? From silent rape from Nimit to constant demands from son, she could never deny. While thinking whether she had done right thing or not, she started walking with Ankur.

Which flavor? Ankur asked enthusiastically at ice-cream corner in super market.

Anything….Keya was confused again.

Oh come on, you must have some favorite flavors…Strawberry, Coconut, Coffee, Chocolate, Ankur started speaking out each flavor available.

Coconut, Keya said hurriedly to stop him

Two coconut ice-cream, Ankur ordered and they both sat on a table.

Ankur was still very casual but with each passing moment Keya was getting more and more conscious about this ice-cream treat.

One more long silence before ice-cream served.

So what do you do Keya? On first spoon Ankur asked.

Nothing, she said for a moment and responded.

Well, I meant, what are your hobbies?, Ankur

Oh, I have many hobbies but now a days, I do not get time at all, words came out of mouth before Keya could control

Happens…..I keep telling Revati to take out some time to re-consider her hobbies but she is not at all interested, Ankur said it casually again.

For a moment, Keya felt jealous for Revati. How lucky she was. Her husband was asking her to take out time whereas Nimit was used to express demands.

You did not answer, what do you like to do, Ankur re-phrased the question this time.

Oh, I like music, books, colors, dance, crafts….Keya started

Wow, seems you are good at many things, Ankur responded encouragingly.

Yeah, I was used to be a leader during college time, have won many competitions for singing and dancing, Keya enthusiastically spoke. Her favorite flavored ice-cream plus someone who was ready to listen to her, had made this shrinking lady blooming for a moment.

You should start all of it again, Ankur said.

I so want to but now a days, life is busy. I hardly have anytime for me, Keya was opening up.

If you were leader, you should know that time management is the important characteristic. If you cannot manage your time, you can not manage anything else, Ankur said while looking into her eyes straight.

And those words worked as an alarm for her. She felt like she was sleeping for long time and suddenly someone woke her up. Rest of the ice-cream melted while she stared at it and her mind started playing the movie of last 10 years when she did not do anything much other than fulfilling others’ demand.

And a call from Nimit brought her in real life again.

I will have to leave, she said to Ankur, after 20 seconds of talk on phone.

Sure. Thanks for the company, Ankur was still casual.

Thanks for the ice-cream, Keya smiled consciously and left.

Why married women have to be conscious while even smiling with other males? Well, Indian society works that way.

Later in the evening, two people were awake till late, while thinking about each other.

Ankur and Keya….they did not know, what destiny had for them 🙂

 

 

 

 

Love is an Adventure : Part 1

And Keya stared at her phone screen….The bright screen stressed her eyes in dark room but she could not put it off. At the age of 36, when you are too busy with kids, family and social life, if you read “I Love You” from someone special (who is not your husband) at 2 am in the morning, it surely makes you numb. And that is what Keya was….

Meeting with Ankur was just a co-incidence.  A year back, at annual function in school, where her son grabbed 3 prizes,  Keya was beaming with pride and that is where Ankur came to her with a warm smile, congratulating her. In 2 minutes talk with Ankur, Keya learned that Ankur’s daughter was a classmate of her son and a good friend of his too. Keya asked for Revati, Ankur’s wife and he said, she was not well. A formal bye and back to real life…that’s how first meeting ended.

Later in the day, while talking with Nimit, her husband, Keya mentioned the talk with Ankur. As usual, Nimit was busy with business call. This was routine for the couple. No fights, no arguments, no discussions and no excitement. Sometimes Keya wondered what she was looking forward in life. But a self-talk about society praising Nimit so much as husband, was always used to be helpful. Keya did not have any complaint but life was not she had thought of or imagined.

A creative mind with full of life, Keya was used to be a leader personality. Her confidence always put her ahead of crowd. “I get what I want” was her mantra for life. When girls of her age were used to worry about make-up and fashion, this girl with thick glasses was used to lose herself in romance novels. But romance never happened in real time for Keya. May be because of her personality, may be because of her expectations, may be because of her attitude or may be because of her patient nature to wait for right person. Again, when other girls were used to talk about BFs, Keya was used to be happy with her daydreams.

Time flew by and before Keya could realize the loss of golden teenage years, Nimit was in her life – of course, arranged marriages work that way only. You blink and you are in lifelong, society approved bondage with the most unknown person and whether you like (forget about love) or not, you are supposed to make a lemonade from sour limes. Keya accepted Nimit with whole heart but Nimit kept failing in meeting her expectations – those little gestures, she was waiting for him to do, she was excited to share with him, never happened. And Keya started shrinking. That bubbly, independent, leader had transformed to kind, confused, introvert and respectful mother after 10 years of marriage life. Occasional fulfillment of biological needs, constant stress to meet expectations from everyone around and almost no time for self, that’s how life was for her, until……

When you think you are settled with life and have accepted the circumstances, life surprises you :-). And with silent but strong intention to change her life, Ankur entered into her life….

Stay tuned to know more about what happened to Keya (and Ankur)…..

10 romantically intelligent WA Status while on HONEYMOON

  1. In each other, we found each other….Away from the world. Biology learning needs serenity. and focus.
  2. The beach, the beauty and the beer…..honeymoon is going awesome.
  3. Eating breakfast on bed…naked with a companion of life….Thats what is called HONEYMOON (love)
  4. The love is growing and glowing in mountains….while valley is getting constant rain 🙂
  5. The GPS is set to “LOST” while we are “LOST” into each other….
  6. Exploring together is an experience…talking about world, not sure what you thought (laugh)
  7. Testing strength of mattress, every night….oops, every day too (smile)
  8. Creating memories to make our kids proud, hard work always creates productivity 🙂
  9. Honey is feeling on moon and I see moon in honey (love)
  10. Zero cloth is a dress code here….in freezing cold, wearing other body is more preferable…