A true love story nearer to my heart : Part – 6

Not sure why updating about love stories via words is always so difficult. I would rather prefer to tell this story in person to see and understand reaction but I know, its not feasible. So let me make you virtual part of Zoya and Rachit’s life, to see, feel, understand and experience what love is and believe me, it never ends.

Previous episodes of this true love story can be found here – Part-1, Part-2, Part-3, Part-4 and Part-5.

While being truly into each other and most of the time away from each other, these madly in love couple never felt distance as a barrier. Rachit increased frequency of India visits and Zoya was used to run away with him over weekends, on the name of travel for work. Being with each other for the little time, made them understand how intensely they wanted to be with each other and what all kind of adjustments they were ready to do in real life, just to spend some time with each other. With every passing day, the love plant was nurtured by warm hearts and dreams of being together. But as they say, nothing continues forever. Life took a turn and put Zoya and Rachit on opposite ends.

That small moment of love started growing inside Zoya and she was scared when it was confirmed. It was not that she was fearful about society but she was not sure what to do. With Anup, her husband, she had rare physical relations and being nicer, Anup never forced about it. Her pregnancy announcement would have definitely raised questions, if not from anyone else, from Anup for sure. Zoya was thrilled with an idea to nurture the seed of love of Rachit and hers but of course, real life does not work with thrills only.

Zoya talked with Rachit and he was thrilled too but was not sure what to do. He was in US and was about to leave for a vacation with his family. He asked Zoya to visit US but confirmed that he will not be able to cancel the planned family time. That gave a strange vibe to Zoya.

Was she alone who enjoyed those love moments?…..No.

Would she have done same thing to Rachit for any relevant matter?…..No.

Was Rachit ready to face Anup or anyone else, if Zoya will announce pregnancy?.….No.

Zoya never asked for emotional support to anyone else, other than parents and best friends, during any phase of life. She felt weak when Rachit seemed restrained in his responses. With a formal tone, when Rachit hesitantly asked her, if she wanted him to be with her, she denied. After all, many other matters were taken care being alone in past and she felt it was not going the way she had expected. After some discussion, Rachit gave freedom to Zoya to decide about it and assured to be with her for whatever decision she would make.

Already two weeks had gone past missed date and morning sickness was showing up. Physical and emotional weakness was taking over. With no multiple options, Zoya decided to abort the dream of her life. She always wanted to have a kid with Rachit because she knew the love chemistry between two smart people would definitely be a reason of jealousy for the world. But who gets everything they want?

She went to gynecologist the same evening, after discussion with Rachit. While ultrasound, when she saw that tiny dot on screen, her eyes got teary. No one other than her would have ever understood the pain, she felt inside. She explained to doctor that her husband was in US and this pregnancy was a result of an unprotected moment. Doctor asked her to think again but she made it clear that she cannot continue with the pregnancy. Finally doctor asked her to be present with her husband for abortion. Zoya was terrified. How she would tell Anup that she was pregnant when she knew that Anup and she did not slept in same bed since long? She kept arguing with doctor that her husband cannot be back from US for this and ultimately, after long round of arguments, doctor was convinced. She asked Zoya to be present with any one supportive person and Zoya agreed, not knowing to whom she could ask for, to be together.

Very next moment after coming out of clinic, Zoya sent those ultrasound images and her decision to Rachit. He was almost on plane, leaving for vacation with family. Both were emotional and no one could console the other. Zoya, with a mountain of guilt about not able to keep alive the dream cried hard at one end and at the other end, Rachit too could not control tears. What a destiny!!

The other day, Zoya told Anup that she will have to be at work for more than 12 hours as the team was supposed to deliver the final version of product. Working in same field, Anup could understand and as usual, was supportive. Zoya left home early in the morning, without eating anything, as per doctor’s instruction. Her lifetime best friend, Trisha, was accompanying her. Zoya did not tell anything to Trisha and Trisha did not ask for details. I think that’s how best friends are. You do not get into details but you are there for the other. Rachit and Zoya were in touch with each other via WhatsApp. Rather than some words of being guilty of not being together, he did not have much to say. And the moment was there.

Zoya was asked to be in Operation Theater and at the entrance, she stopped and cried hard. This was not she imagined as a part of worst dream of her life. The pain of being lonely was unbearable but no one other than Trisha, who was completely unaware about details, was there with her. She walked into Operation Theater with heavy heart and followed instructions from team of doctors. Within couple of minutes, she was unconscious. Doctors completed the work in an expert manner and Zoya was shifted to the private room where Trisha was waiting for her. Looking at Zoya, Trisha was surprised. Her beautiful, head strong and chirpy friend was transformed into weakest person, Trisha had ever seen. She took some pictures of Zoya to discuss about it someday with her. Zoya gained consciousness within couple of hours. Due to some social emergency, Trisha had no choice but to leave Zoya. Being alone in that room, Zoya stared the ceiling. Tears found their way and that moment made her realized, she never felt that lonely in her life.

Why Anup or her parents were not with her? Because she had to hide this from them. And why she had to hide it? Because she did something which she was not supposed to.

Why Rachit was not there with her? Because Rachit had to be present with family for vacation time and Zoya did not want to lose her “strong girl” image, by asking Rachit to be with her.

Why that loneliness was unendurable? Because when you know, you have half city known but you cannot ask anyone to be with you, there cannot be any other more tragic situation in life.

Zoya cried and cried. She sent messages and her pictures (which Trisha had taken) to Rachit but there was no response from Rachit. An hour, two hours, three hours…but there was no response at all. The one, who promised to be together, had almost disappeared.

After 3 hours, with the help of hospital staff, she recollected herself and completed formalities of discharge while holding certificate of abortion. It was humid afternoon and she was not able to even walk properly. Going home in this situation was not a good idea and there was no other place to go. She got into rickshaw and asked him to drop her at temple. She found a lonely bench near temple and sat there. Feeling thirsty, she did not have stamina to go and buy a bottle of water. She kept sitting there till late evening until it was complete dark and her body strongly declined to follow instructions of mind to be awake. She saw responses from Rachit after 5 long hours and responded to some. Finally, Zoya had no choice but to go home as Anup had already called for twice.

At home, Anup and Navya were shocked after seeing her. She tried to convince them that she had a bad day at work and needed some sleep. In bed, she could not control and after a long day of emotional and physical pain, she slept. When she opened her eyes, she was in hospital room and found Anup and her parents around. Now it was her turn to be dismayed.

What if Anup and parents have known about the pregnancy, was the first thought in her mind?

Apparently, no one uttered single word. Zoya learned that, she bled heavily after she slept and when Anup came to check on her, he had to call Ambulance. For 36 hours, her parents and Anup were with her without eating anything, while trying to understand what was wrong. Zoya felt mountain of guilt.

The person who was responsible for the situation was enjoying vacation with his family and here her family was messed up. She kept asking herself, why she had to go through the pain alone? Why Rachit was not there with her? Why she had to give up on best dream of life? But there was no answer and she knew she was not going to find answers easily. Actually, she was not worried about answers anymore. She had decided something and had asked her mind to take over her heart.

Did the love story really end here?

Should the love story end like this?

Could Rachit have done better?

Why wrong moments teach us right thing?

Stay tuned to learn more about this love birds, who had once promised each other to be with each other, no matter what the situation……Foundation of true love is not that weak or I should say, life always gives third chance to everyone, including Rachit :-).

A True Love Story nearer to my heart – Part 5

Previous episodes of this true love story can be read here : Part-1, Part-2, Part-3 and Part-4.

Its been really long, I documented updates for this but I was waiting for something…..And finally it happened J.

I met Rachit for the first time and could match up the other side of this love story where same intensity and passion was observed. Until today, I have written story from Zoya’s end as I could never knew or got to know feelings from Rachit’s end. Meeting and talking with him proved Zoya’s statement for him 100% true –

They say love happens at first sight but for me, love happened at first chat or first e-mail or first talk. I loved Rachit because unconsciously my mind found out matching frequency with him. The comfort I felt while talking with him, be it any topic, was never experienced with anyone, not even with same gender friends. And the person who makes you feel comfortable is the one, you want to be with and I think that’s how that love feeling in me grew. While spending 12+ years away from him, without single contact, it was a ritual for me, where I was used to talk with him silently. And after reconnecting, when we talked, I found him same, as the one, with whom I was used to talk silently for years. He is able to make me smile, in any situation, while sitting at other end of world…..what else someone expects from love of life?

 

I must say, Rachit’s answers to my curious questions were reflecting same love chroma, as Zoya expressed. Here are some excerpts from our chit-chat :

I : Rachit, what do you think about experiencing love after almost being settled in life? Isn’t it strange? Isn’t it unacceptable to society?

Rachit : Given years of upbringing in traditional society, I think we both shrugged it off the rare matching frequency even after years, as one off feeling and nothing much. Both of us wanted to make first move but without jeopardizing beautiful relations that was being developed under shadow of love-leaf in outside stormy world of reality. Also, we both were aware of rare second chance and almost last one we had.

Love is exactly like plant growing from Ground. No matter how hard ground is, little fresh seed manages to sprout and thrive. Self denials of feeling from both ends did not do much to prevent us from communicating and planning to meet. And daily communication only worked as fuel for the fire ignited at both ends.

 

 I : What was that moment when this started again or I should say the love connection resumed after years?

Rachit : A meeting, after 6 months of first meet, was the time. For most part, we both kept smiling and teasing and talking. However, on penultimate moment of saying bye, she just moved further and hugged me tight. I was taken aback for a moment and responded with same intensity. On the way back to airport, it felt like heaven. I wanted to hug her and wanted to be like that forever but controlled myself. On the airport, while walking, we instantly held each other’s hands. It was moment of confirmation and commitment for the feeling, which was growing in both of ours heart.

That one moment of love expression was a small enough gap in dam of Love that was hold up. As they said, it is very rare to find someone that you truly love. It is even rare to have that person love you back with same intensity. It is extremely rare to get second chance at the stage in life we had been. We felt extremely fortunate to have found each other in that “Supremely” rare category.

 

I : When both of you did not have any future, what made you both to go along the path, which society considers as WRONG?

Rachit : We felt connection before 12 years and same connection was still alive. That was the biggest proof that at heart, we both were same, were yearning for each other. Real life did not make much difference because we understood we were part of society but at the same time, we were human being. We wanted to live our lives and there is nothing wrong in it.

As time moved on, we realized that we are perfect for each other. In fact, we were always very perfect for each other like missing puzzle piece. When one stopped dreaming, other started coloring. When one made mental border, other flew them through that line as if border was just a runway. We both are passionate about everything we do in life including making love to each other, virtually, really and physically.

 

I : Most of the time, Love is named to cover desires of body. Why do you need someone outside marriage when you have companion for all, available for 24/7, under same roof?

Rachit : Everyone has different definition of love. I believe, physical intimacy is the highest manifestation of the love feeling and there is nothing wrong about it. For me and Zoya, it has never been primary factor. As I said, being grown up in traditional society, we both were aware about our boundaries and we were not sure whether we wanted to break it or not. Zoya was very clear about not getting involved physically and I did not have any problem about it. We never forced ourselves for anything. It was a natural flow of love and we both were just enjoying every moment of it.

In our next meeting, Love was in the Air. It was true feeling of First love which is fully reciprocated for both of them. We had lot to talk, lot to share, lot to laugh which was mixed with some shyness and strongest flavor of Love. It was just a perfect combination we had waited for years and thought that we lost all hopes that most precious feeling.

We invented ways like Light out time to hug each other to hide shyness, sleeping hug to hug in bed and get closer, eyes close time to take advantage of light and break barriers etc. The meeting is still as fresh in my mind because I still remember our first candle light dinner on rooftop or endless rides in private elevator so that we could hug without limit. All in all, we both could not have been happier as captured by one of the timeless image we shared.

Next day, we got so engrossed in talk @ Airport that Zoya missed flight. “Yesssssssss !” should have been reaction of mine but I was worried about Zoya. Apparently, she was happy to have missed flight and that gave us another afternoon to be together. But we were still adolescent. As usual, we had lots of laugh, lots of teasing, foreplay but not the supreme manifestation of love to each other. 

 

I : So when that supreme manifestation happened and how do you remember it?

Rachit : After our meeting, I had to go back to real world but was in India again, within 40 days. As soon as we could plan, I decided to visit Zoya on a cold December night. our stomach was floating with anticipation and expectations. We enjoyed 120 minutes long ride to dream destination in that starry night.  I almost remember that stars in our eyes were more than in sky on that night. Low temperature of winter could not hold our thumping hearts back. We tried to walk in cold night to see if we could extend our new found youth moments by few more minutes. It did not help much.

Then we were again together. We just wanted to be one. We wanted to truly fly at escape velocity leaving gravity behind. Pretty soon, Love Rhythm began as we were natural lovers. We did not need any coaching or adjusting to each other. We are meant for each other as two ends of magnets are. We felt natural pull towards each other. One moment lead to another and pretty soon, we melted into each other as if two pieces of puzzle fit into each other. We felt ecstatic, we felt that finally we have overcome internal conflicts, external restrictions and True Love had won. What a win it was indeed. The moment that could never be matched. Once in a lifetime moment. Once in a lifetime happiness. We felt like coming out of Robot’s body and being human again.

The next day was not any less exciting…We enjoyed some Honeymoon hours starting from beautiful morning walk to exciting food to exciting ride to lots of laughter together. The movie on next day was like we wanted to laugh together for past 12 years. The sensual moments mixed with genuine laughter made the best feeling we possibly would have never even dare to imagine.

 

And when I looked at Zoya, I could observe that blush on her face, while Rachit was talking. I had to complement both of them for finding each other as with fast paced era, when we are seeing love stories ending every other moment, this couple survived for almost 14 years and most of the time, without even seeing or talking with each other.

Who says love dies when not watered?

This virtual but more than real couple had redefined love for me and I was happy for both of them. Meeting love of life when you are almost settled with someone else and risking everything for that love is something not everyone does or not everyone gets a chance to do.

By the time, I am planning to end this chapter, Zoya is ready with some more moments to share….

Stay tuned 🙂

 

 

 

 

Love is never wrong : Part -2

Previous part of the story can be read at Part-1.

And finally today was the day, Sahil got a chance to fulfill the wish of Ishu, which Ishita had almost forgot about. Walking on the white, soft sand on the beach, Sahil looked at her. She was lost in her own thoughts. Sahil moved nearer to her and she did not even realize. He softly held Ishita’s hand and she suddenly came out of the thought chain and pulled her hand back. Sahil was taken aback. For a moment, he felt rejected. After all, Ishu was his first love and even after 4 months of close friendship, he did not find a place in her heart. With deep breath, he looked into Ishu’s eyes and found tears flowing…..without thinking; he pulled her in his arms and hugged her tight. Ishita did not try to release herself and allowed tears to flow. Once settled, both set on the sand, quietly.

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Sahil was very sure now that something was hidden in Ishu’s heart and he wanted to know. But her tears had moved him. He did not want Ishu to be in tears again. He decided to talk about it some other time. He looked at Ishu again and she smiled.

Thanks Sahil, Ishu

For what?, Sahil

I wanted to be here since so long, wanted to walk on the soft sand without uttering a word and you made it possible, Ishu

But I thought you would be happy. Really, did not like the tears part, Sahil

Ishita looked into Sahil’s eyes and kept looking. What?, he asked with eyes……she smiled poorly and moved her eyes to ocean.

Now, Sahil could not control himself. After all what was that which was making his Ishu so sad. He thought to ask but again dropped the idea. Ishu was just settled and he did not want to make any mistake again. To his surprise, Ishu started,

Sahil, do you know what this beach reminds me of? Ishu

He shook his head and kept looking in her eyes.

I had a childhood friend, Aman. We grew up together and went to same school. While living those teen years, I am not sure when I started liking him. Although I could never tell him that he was more than a friend to me, I had built up a castle about our lives together and filled up so many dreams in it. Aman was very brilliant and got scholarship for Melbourne university and left for Australia, last year. I and Aman were used to be on this beach, just to walk and talk. Since he left, we have almost lost contact. I am not sure whether Aman could never understand my feelings for him but I miss him every moment. I wanted to be here, on this beach, to walk with him, to be with him, to refresh those beautiful memories. Thanks, you made it possible ended Ishu with smile.

Sahil felt a crack in his heart. The one, whom he loved hiddenly, was already loving someone and was waiting for that someone. How can it be possible………he felt to cry out. At the age of 18, when you know that your first love cannot replicate your feelings because someone was already there in her life, it surely hurts……He looked at Ishita again, smiled poorly, got up and started walking towards car……

Again, 623 words L….have to stop here.

Stay tuned to know about next chapter of Sahil and Ishita’s love loop, including Aman’s. Love is so complex and still everyone of us wants to experience and live it for once in life…..strange!!!

Love is NEVER wrong – 1

Disclaimer : I never proof read my writing so you might find spell mistakes but isn’t it acceptable? After all, creating something while penning it down is not that easy :). Looking at past records and my habit to living every character of story, this time I have decided to limit every part of story to 500 words (you can expect some adjustments in that number, though)….short and sweet reads….

 

Here it goes –

The famous Banaroo song was on repeat mode and was crashing the window glasses of car…..

I’m calling you, I’m calling you
I need you today
Because I lost my direction
In the endless milky way

Emergency, emergency
Never get me home
I can find a way but I can
Find it on my own…………

That is how Sahil wanted the first ride…..first car ride with Ishita, his love.

For a moment he looked by side and that smile on her innocent face was a clear indication that she was enjoying it the way he wanted to.

At the age of 18, you want everything to be loud, to be shining and to be impressive. And why not? After all, this is the age, when you feel infinite power to defeat the worldJ. The sad thing is, not everyone can retain that passion about life and defeating the world or I should say, not everyone is lucky enough to have that first time love as life. But we can talk about it later on. As of now, let’s get back to the almost adult couple, who was on their first drive together without license.

The car stopped with jerk and with an offer,

Ishu, let’s spend some time on the beach……

Another beautiful smile and she nodded. While walking towards that source of endless blue water, his heart was racing. Every first time is exciting for everyone and for a 18 years old guy turning man, it’s a mixture of excitement and nervousness. The whole picture came alive to him within seconds….

It was the first time, he met ishita. Moving to new place and leaving old friends behind was something, Sahil was not comfortable with. But he was option less as his father got transfer to the totally remote but naturally beautiful place, Tarkarli. The place is known for its sandy beaches and authentic Malwani cuisines.  On very first day in Tarkarli, while he was still helping parents in setting up house, he saw an innocent girl with flowery smile. He quickly got out of house and found that he had got a beautiful neighbor. Suddenly, the gleam of leaving old friends behind was replaced by having someone special. For the second day, when he saw Ishita in the college, he jumped with joy and after knowing that she was his classmate, his joy did not knew any boundary. During Psychology lecture, while talking on “wishes and their effect on life” when professor asked Ishita about her wish, she softly spoke…

I want to be with someone special at beach…..just to walk endless, without uttering a word.

He kept staring her….

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Those wide, expressive eyes were holding a story, which must have kept to heart since long. And that was the moment, he fell for Ishita or I must say, his Ïshu. Love at first sight, heard many times but experienced first time, he was delighted. At heart, he had decided to fulfill his princess’s wish soon….

That is how love happens or I should say progresses…. You learn to make the other person happy, you learn being happy while seeing the other one happy, you keep thinking about ways to make the other person happy……and when you add the sweet age of 18 to that mixture, that orange color becomes flame red..

I am keeping my promise and stopping here as the word count shows up as 600 :(…..

Stay tuned….

Waiting for your comments as its been really long I have penned down something….little encouragement would help in thinking and imagining and of course presenting it in better way 🙂

 

 

A true love story…..nearer to my heart – Part 3

First and second part of this true story about Rachit and Zoya can be read at Part-1 and Part-2.

Meeting someone after years, and that too the one, whom you had loved silently for years, gives you a kind of anxiety. You want to meet him/her but you do not want to. That is how Zoya felt. Since years she had been talking with Rachit silently every day and now she was presented with an opportunity to see him once again. Rachit too showed same excitement about meeting. Zoya talked with Anup about the meeting. Although Anup did not mind in meeting Zoya to Rachit, he suggested Zoya to not fly to the other city, for sake of meeting Rachit. Anup felt, it would not be good for Zoya to show that kind of excitement. Zoya agreed upon but again due to circumstances, Rachit had to cancel his tickets to visit Zoya’s city. Zoya did not want to wait now. She convinced Anup to let her fly to Rachit’s city.

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So dual state mind you have to handle when you are presented with your past. As they say, you should always bury your past to live the present happily. In her perfect sense, Zoya too would have advised the same to others. But…….when your past has so many things to share with the person, who has ruled over your heart for years, I think no pragmatic matter matters. Although she wanted to meet Rachit, she did not want to hide the fact from Anup. And when Anup agreed upon her meeting with Rachit, she felt more guilt. But she knew that she needed to meet Rachit once. So much of pain she had carried in her heart since long and she for sure, did not want to leave the world like that. She constantly assured herself that she was not doing anything wrong by meeting Rachit.

Before the day of meet, Zoya could not sleep for the whole night. Excitement of meeting Rachit after almost 12 years was overtaking her heart. Time flies so fast and changes so many things but unfortunately some hidden feelings in heart are never affected by time and I think that is good too. Next day, to catch the early morning flight, Anup dropped her at airport. While saying bye, Anup took her hand in his and said, Zoya, no matter what and how you are, I love you. She smiled poorly and started walking towards check-in counter. After an hour of flight, she reached to Rachit’s city and as planned, Rachit was there to pick her up from Airport. Her heart was beating faster. She told herself for couple of time to not to be teary after seeing Rachit. A weird knot in her heart told her to run back to Anup. A guilt of cheating on Anup, made her irritated for a moment. But she wore a smile and after a brief hug, Rachit and Zoya started walking towards taxi. At airport, Rachit did not convey any excitement of meeting her, the way he was used to do on phones. Half of the Zoya’s happiness to see him died down at airport itself.

They checked into a room at a beach resort. But being behind closed door, with Rachit, gave a strange feeling to Zoya. Her mind was constantly reminding her that she was doing something wrong and her heart was alerting her to not do something wrong which may create more guilt for her. Scared of the situation, Zoya proposed to take a walk on beach and Rachit agreed upon.

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While walking on the beach, they shared many memories and past life. Zoya felt quite relaxed now. Both of them were exchanging information at a pace like there was no tomorrow. After all, covering up 12 years in less than 12 hours is an impossible task. They got back into the room and continued talking. But again, a kind of invisible fear took over. Somehow, they did not felt at ease and that was confusing to them too. And during those candid moments of sharing, Rachit accepted that he did not possess the feelings of love for Zoya, the way Zoya did for him. Although it was more than lust for him but he was really not sure that it was love. Zoya was probably not prepared to listen or digest it, although she knew the fact at her heart. They took lunch together and continued talking by being in the room but Zoya could not feel the warmth in Rachit’s company, which she had felt 12 years ago while that short walk. Also, Rachit seemed very busy on his phones and other business work that at one point Zoya felt to run away. Rachit was not able to understand how someone can love him like that and never think about any other opportunity available. To this, Zoya just smiled and said that she never felt to look at someone else. For her, past marriage was a punishment, the current marriage was more of a living with social acceptance, although she never had major complain for Anup.

And finally, it was time to leave for actual life again. With heavy heart, Zoya said Good Bye to Rachit. For her, it was not the day, she was looking forward. It was not the time spent, she thought of since years, to meet Rachit for first time after so many years. She was upset, heart broken and emotional. Although there was nothing wrong, it seemed everything was wrong. At airport, when Navya and Anup were waiting for her, she could not hide her tears. Anup held her hand and asked her about her visit and whether she was ok. To this, Zoya cried hard. Anup was really concerned now. Zoya told him that she met Rachit and nothing was wrong. But it was not something that she was expecting. And to Anup’s question about what was she expecting, she could not answer but more tears. Reaching home, she could not eat anything and felt worst about her visit. She just wanted to delete that day from her life. Next morning, her skype messenger was blinking and it was Rachit. Rachit had asked her if she reached home safely and hoped that she had gone with some positive memories. Zoya could not control her tears again. She wrote a big paragraph to Rachit,

Well, this is going to be slightly longer but I think I need to tell you this.
I don’t know with what expectations I came to meet you and what did I exactly want to talk…Somewhere in my heart, I thought meeting you would soothe the pain, I have been carrying since long. It would not be right if I say, I was 100% fine, after learning that feelings were not same on the other side. And I don’t know why so? But yes, meeting you clarified so man assumptions and it will definitely help me in moving on with something, where I had been stuck since long. I think this is the right phase of life for me to be mature emotionally 🙂 and understand that the world never stops and so I too should not. I am really not sure, how much time will it take to move on but yes, I need to…that’s what I know as of now.
Thanks a lot for spending the precious time and yes, there have been many positive memories about it. And finally I have grown respect for two best persons – Anup and you. One, who allowed me the much needed privacy with someone unknown to him and the other, who did not use that privacy in wrong manner. I am in awe of both of you and yes, that’s the luckiest part of life.
Once again, there is nothing about me or my feelings, you could have done so never feel slightest guilt about it. As I said, I will always pray and would like to see you happy….so be happy always.

For the whole day, she felt moist eyes. Somehow the dream meet did not turn into reality and it helped in messing up the emotions at Zoya’s end. She felt vulnerable. But after all, it is life and we have to live it. Zoya decided to stop communicating with Rachit because that was the only way she felt, she could move ahead with life. Controlling emotions is not the right way but diversion of them is sometimes mandatory and Zoya knew, she needed to do it. She talked about her story with friends and colleagues by presenting it as an anonymous story and everyone had same opinion – the female in the story was emotionally foolish to run behind past when she knew there was nothing to do with it. And while doing so, she was gambling with her present and society might never accept her true relationship. She was amazed how everyone had same view point and how she was the only one who thought that it was much beyond than anyone’s understanding.

This time, she thought of to follow the belief of society by trying to forget Rachit.

But she did not know the root of love she had sown in her heart long ago, were so much grown up that forget about removing them, even cutting them off was going to be impossible. During practical moments, she always thought of to not chase Rachit as they both were leading different lives but during emotional moments, none of the practical matter made sense. She started living in dilemma and it started affecting her health too. She was all smiling on face but was lost at heart. Not communicating with Rachit seemed like a life losing option and talking with him always made her felt like she was doing something wrong.

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And therefore, when I came to know about her another meeting with Rachit, I was not transfixed. Knowing Zoya so very well since long, I knew she was not going to be able to control her heart but curious about Rachit. Why was he interested in meeting Zoya again?

And until I get answer, this story will have a tag “To be continued…”

 

P.S. I have not proofread the story as every time I write/read Zoya’s story it’s a kind of emotional juggling and coming out of it becomes tough. Therefore please ignore those spell mistakes.

P.P.S. When I wrote first part, I never knew I was going to write second part of story and after almost one and half years, I wrote the second part. After second part, I was sure that I was going to write the third part, but never knew it will take almost six months for me to write that. Fourth part? Well, writing about Zoya, snatches me from reality and sends me to another world, which is not real. Therefore, not sure when would be the next time, I would like to lose my practicality…..

Want to know about Zoya’s feelings, after meeting Rachit for first time since years? Read on each and every post in the archive and you will realize what Zoya had gone through, even after meeting Rachit…….

 

Love Isn’t something you find but ….part-3

Previous episodes are – Part 1, Part 2.

On the new day, with new heart and rhythmic footsteps, Shanaya got ready into dotted black and white knee length one-piece. Although not completely healed, her thoughts were very clear now. But that heart, was still speaking something, which she had to avoid to listen. She thought to herself,

I wish I could be that little girl again. Skinny knees are easy to fix than broken heart.


But you cannot change the reality. With deep thoughts she entered into Hari Cafe, her breakfast point. After tasting her favorite Vada-sambar, she started feeling better. Yes, most of the times our feelings can be diverted or put on hold due to good food and that is a good thing.  After relishing every sip of filter coffee, she was ready for her next destination – Sri Aurobindo Ashram. She had been there for multiple times by now but today she just wanted to sit there, while talking with herself. After touching the tomb of Sri Aurobindo, she found her eyes teary. So many emotions she had gone through since last few days, when Patrick was not replying to her calls. Finally, everything was over. it was time to begin new chapter of life or may be new life…..As they say,

One of the best times for figuring out who you are & what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.


She sat in a corner silently, staring the sky. Why is it so hard?, she asked to herself. She felt crying hard but controlled herself. Silently, she got out of the place and went to the beach road. The beach road, at this time, was almost silent. Rare vehicle movements and few people around, she felt better. After all, she will not have to control herself again. She can allow those tears to flow down. After settling on the rock, she kept gazing at those splashing waves, for almost an hour. When she heard someone behind her, she felt like waking up from deep sleep.

 

alone-girl-beach-sad-girl-broken-heart

Why are you crying? the guy asked same question again, which she did not even hear for the first time. She looked at him. Almost 6 feet height, unshaven face, grey t-shirt and blue jeans, deep eyes and ……she kept looking at him, forgetting to answer.

With slightly irritation in his voice, he asked the question for third time and Shanaya suddenly realized, where she was.

Ohhh, umm….its something personal, she spoke with hesitation. She never liked someone to interfere in her personal life.

Well, thats fine. I just wanted to tell you that don’t cry for the person who never understood the value of your tears, he said and shrugged with a little smile on his face and started walking in the opposite direction of beach.

Shanaya was amazed with his profoundness, his boldness, his caring gesture and above all his ability to read her mind. She almost ran behind him.

Heeyyyy, just wanted to talk with you for few minutes, she said from behind.

He turned around and looked at her. Without hesitation, he agreed and started walking with Shanaya.

After walking for few minutes, when Shanaya found both of them mute, she introduced herself.

In return, he shook his hand with her and spoke his name – Kartik.

Kartik, she spoke his name silently and smiled. They kept walking but no one spoke. Once again, Shanaya started,

So, how did you assume I had a heart break?

Its not an assumption, he shortened his answer.

Then? With curiosity she looked at him.

Its a fact, he looked straight into her eyes and for a moment she felt she was in love with those deep eyes.
Suddenly she felt like she wanted to share her story with him. Seriously, life is like that only.

Most of the time you do not want to share something with the nearest one but can easily speak about it to someone unknown. Afterall, being vulnerable is the best thing to do when you do not know what to do.


When she found Kartik waiting for her to start, she began her story and told him everything about Patrick and her relationship and how just yesterday everything ended.

But why are you crying? Kartik asked.

With irritation, she replied, its because I lost my first love, the person whom I loved the most.

Oh come on, you did not lose him, he lost you, he said with same intensity of irritation.
couple_1508280c

And suddenly Shanaya realized something. Something that was going to change the vision for upcoming life forever…..

To be continued….

(photos: 4expensivecars.blogspot.com, mental-health-center.com)

Love Isn’t something you find but ….part-2

To read the previous moments, please refer Part-1.

Even after reading that 100 characters message for fifth time, Shanaya could not believe herself.

I have moved in with Kristy. Cannot wait for you. Sorry for missing those calls.

Her tears mixed up with rain flow and flew down without efforts. She could not decide what she should do. After taking support of nearby chair, she dropped herself on it and covered her eyes with palms. There was something breaking inside her heart and she was not able to tolerate the pain. After all, her belief about love was violated today. They say it rightly –

Only those who go through heart break, know what slow dying means.

 

 (photo : venturebeat.com)

Shanaya felt like she was losing her life. She tried hard to stop tears but maybe her mind gave different orders and neither heart nor mind was in control. Slowly, she stood up and looked around. The dark sky was clear after that little drizzle and people were moving around. Nothing changed, she thought to herself, rather than my life. She thought to call Patrick but her feminine ego denied to obey the idea. It’s been just 2 months and Patrick had already moved in with another girl. Why should I call him and beg him? Why should I show him that I am dying without him? Her heart argued.

So strange this feeling called LOVE is.

At one moment, you want to forget the whole world for other person and on other moment, you just don’t want to communicate with that person.

May be Love has more to do with head rather heart.

Her thoughts were faster than her sight

Her foot were faster than her mind

Her condolence to herself was slower than the slowest thing in the world.

Nothing was effective.

For her, it was not easy as Patrick. She whole heartedly loved Patrick and never thought of anyone else. Love was a permanent feeling for her. She thought, she will never be able to forget Patrick.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone whom you never met

She was walking fast towards her hotel while telling herself “everything will be fine”, but tears were not following the words. She saw lights of the church shining and she ran in. After looking at Jesus, she could not control and cried hard. Fortunately, the evening and Shanaya both were lonely inside the church. After lightening her heart, she looked at Jesus again. He was still smiling, kindly. And suddenly, she felt like her Maa was beside her and was telling her the same phrase – everything will be fine. That virtual company of Maa felt like a soothing balm. She closed her eyes and sat there for few minutes in killing silence. And a new Shanaya was born. She had a little smile on her face. She returned to beach road, took charge of her parked bike and started paddling it. For almost one and half hours, she just paddled and roamed around the French colony, while trying to bury every memory of Patrick. Finally tired and hungry, she got into her hotel room and fell down on bed. For the first time, since last few nights, she slept tight, without bad dreams of Patrick going away from him. After all, he had already gone.

When you accept something, life becomes easy.

Shanaya had accepted Patrick’s absence in her life and life was beautiful again. The new day, the new sun and the new Shanaya were ready to explore the world again!!!

(photo : flickr.com)

To be continued … … …

Message from author :

Like love stories? Here are my favorite :

  1. I Too had a Love Story
  2. P.S. I Love You
  3. Only Love is Real
  4. The Best of Me – the most favorite, till date.

Love Isn’t something you find but ….

Beautiful Pondicherry…..one of the union territory of India, which has been blessed with culture, beaches, Sri Aurobindo and Autovile. When the beach road gets vehicle less in the evening, the real Pondicherry can be seen. Those playing little buddies, people walking around and enjoying beach, parents allowing kids to run and roam freely and a sense of fulfilled day makes the visit of Pondi more delightful. Anyone, who visits this place once, will never be able to forget it easily.

stock-photo-sad-and-depressed-woman-sitting-down-by-the-ocean-144575444

La Café, the 24 hours café on the beach road of Pondi, an evening and Shanaya ….

A female in her twenties with long, open hair, whitish skin and innocent face……….With blank eyes, she was looking at the roaring Bay of Bengal.

What Patrick must be doing at this moment, she thought. Patrick, the man of her dreams, denied her numerous calls within past few days, without reason and that made Shanaya anxious. She wanted to run away from here and wanted to meet Patrick but it was a kind of struggle between heart and mind. After getting rejected for visa for couple of times, finally she had got tourist visa for India for six months and she did not want to miss the opportunity to explore the country where her parents were born and brought up. Since childhood, she had heard so many stories about India. With every story, her desire to visit India got stronger. Although her parents were not in favour of her vising India alone, she was able to convince them. After all, parents learn getting convinced once kids turn to adults. Her parents had love marriage and after marriage, when none of their parents agreed upon, they had to leave India. After relocating to Perth, Australia, they struggled like anything but finally settled well and once Shanaya was there in their lives, it was almost perfect. Although they never felt the need to re-visit India, they kept telling stories about India to Shanaya. After imagining India in her own ways, when Shanaya really got chance to visit the country of culture, she did not want to miss it and that is how she convinced Patrick too, her boyfriend, her love and her man of dreams.

Suddenly drizzle began and people started to run here and there. Shanaya had a smile on her face, while looking at them. Why do we run away when god bless us? She thought and put off her sweat shirt, got out to the garden of café and closed her eyes while those soft rain drops touched her heart. She was missing Patrick badly.

It was just like this evening when she found her love – Patrick. In a college, where everyone had boyfriend, she was still in search. Her thoughts and may be the values her parents had built in were never in favour of temporary relationship. She wanted to love someone rather than getting into bed with the one. From her parents’ example, she could understood very well, what love means. Her parents too, tried their best in terms of explaining her the difference between love and crush, at the right age. But still, at the age of 19, when each of her friend had someone special, she was still in search. And that fine day, her search was over when she met Patrick. One of the common friend mentioned about the local band in the university and said Patrick, especially was very good. And Shanaya, with her friend, visited the band, who was playing in downtown area, on that day. Her eyes could not move when she saw Patrick. Typical Australian physique, blue eyes and golden curls……he is my dream man, her heart said. After introducing each other, when she observed the same spark in Patrick’s eyes, she knew, she had found someone….some one for lifetime and her happiness was boundless.

Two years of perfect relationship, where she had enjoyed each and every moment with Patrick, and suddenly Patrick was not answering her calls. Being at the other end of world, when you do not hear from your love, heart gets out of control and that’s how she was feeling at the moment, while enjoying rain in Pondi. And suddenly, her phone beeped. She ran to her table and saw a message from Patrick.

Without knowing, the message was going to change her life, she clicked to read the message.

To be continued ….

A true love story…..nearer to my heart – Part 2

Its been exactly 1.5 years, since I published the first part of story. I never thought I would be able to update the story or I will need to write next part of it but that is how love stories are. When you think its ended and nothing can be done about it, a new chapter begins without notification….
After struggling for almost three months, I have decided to update the story because of Rachit. Thanks a lot Rachit (if you are still reading this) for forcing me on timely basis to do this :-).
As I mentioned in previous episode of the story, I have been witnessing every phase of Zoya’s life and knew very well how difficult it is/was to not remember Rachit, her first love.  When I told Zoya about the story I published about her, she was not happy. She did not want anyone to know about her life but Rachit. I convinced her with an argument – you  might get an opportunity to re-connect with Rachit via this story, who knows? She clarified that she just wanted Rachit to read the story and was not at all interested in re-connecting with Rachit. But most of the time, you are not aware about your future actions, while trying to be too practical with present. And when it comes to matter of heart, its really difficult to impose it in certain way.  To my surprise, Zoya and Rachit were already connected via social media since last 3 years and to my surprise again, they never exchanged single word.
On a specific day,
Due to late evening meeting with client, Zoya had to stay back in the office and she had an hour time free for her, before meeting. As usual, her heart took control and started day dreaming about how life with Rachit would have turned. And before she could understand, she was wiping tears. This had been the situation since last few days. Reason? Within last 15 days, she had attended two prayer meetings, one for a dear friend and one for a relative. In addition to that, one of the relative was diagnosed with cancer and was counting days of life. These all had moved Zoya. What if today is my last day, that was the question popped up in her mind every morning. She did not want to leave the world like that, before closing all the chapters, which she left behind incomplete. And Rachit was the biggest and most critical chapter of her life which she wanted to complete. An indescribable feeling drove her to do something, which she would have never done while being in her perfect senses. She copied the URL of her story from this website and sent it to Rachit as personal message via social media. No word was written.
She still remembers, it was Friday evening. She was not sure, whether Rachit will ever care to look into that URL sent, will he ever read the story or will he ever respond. And when the meeting timer buzzed, she left her desk. While being in meeting with client, her mind was engrossed in thinking about possibilities of Rachit reading that story for once at least. She wrapped up the call and came to her desk. It was really late for her and she knew Anup and Navya must be waiting for her. She collected her things and opened the e-mails for last time to check. There were total 5 e-mails, and there was one – from Rachit. Yes, Rachit’s reply to her was there. Rachit had responded within 20 minutes of her sending her story. For the first time, she cursed outlook, when it took three seconds to open the e-mail. Content of e-mail was something like this (with permission from Zoya and Rachit)
Hi Zoya,
 
I never knew about what I read. I am overwhelmed with all types of emotions and would like to talk with you for few minutes.
Rachit
After re-reading the reply for third time, she was not sure what to do. She locked her computer and left for home. For the whole way while driving back to home, tears made their space and she did not care to stop them.
Why does he want to talk now? Where was he when I was going through hell?, her mind was continuously tapping and she decided to not respond.
At home, she cooked dinner for Anup and Navya and cleaned kitchen. She felt sick inside and was unable to stop the tears. When Anup asked her about dinner, she could not respond but her eyes did. When Anup saw tears in her eyes, he was concerned. Zoya shortened the matter saying she was feverish and needed some sleep. And as the rarest routine, she went to bed before Navya. She covered her head with quilt and tried to calm down her heart. A strange anxiety was leading her and she was listening to the uninterrupted fight between her heart and mind.
Rachit was not someone, whom she loved back and forgot. Instead, he was the only one person in her life, whom she talked every day silently, thought of him on every occasion, wanted to be with him in every situation and prayed for his happiness forever. She could never forgive herself for the decision taken in response of Rachit’s unresponsiveness, before 11 years. Since the first touch from Pratham, she knew what mistake she did with her life. But it was too late or may be her fate. The pain she had carried since years needed a space to drain out because it was getting tough for her to live with it.
Finally, Zoya decided to follow her heart as she did during evening and once Anup and Navya were asleep she walked to the computer and sent her chat contact details to Rachit. Within couple of minutes, Rachit was there to chat with her. It was around 11:00 p.m. they started chatting and it continued till 6:25 a.m. in the morning. Yes, that is what Zoya told me. They chatted for almost 7.5 hours. After years, Zoya had sleepless night without tears…..
I never asked about details and Zoya never described. But I could see her face glowing every day and her smile widening. She was happy and probably Rachit too was. Rachit contacted me and asked me if I could write next part of story about his and Zoya’s re-connection. In the beginning, clearly denied, I was convinced after talking with him for 3-4 times. Rachit too had a story, the way Zoya had.
As per Rachit,
He too dreamed to be with Zoya and never thought that Zoya will be away from him one day. He wanted to settle in US and therefore wanted to get green card before moving ahead with life’s major phase. Although he never clarified the reason to Zoya, he assumed Zoya will understand. When Zoya called him  to update about her urgent engagement with Pratham, he was stunned. He always thought that he had enough of time to clarify everything to Zoya even if Zoya decides to commit anyone else. But he was bedazed when Zoya informed him about her quick decision. He did not know how to react. Yes, he loved Zoya but then why did she wanted to move away? Was she interested in marrying any good person and not specifically him? Wasn’t she able to keep some patience? Wasn’t she able to read in between line, where he always expressed love and care for her? Was it that easy for Zoya to go away? And with these questions in mind, he never tried to stop Zoya. He decided to let Zoya move on and Zoya really did. Soon after Zoya’s marriage, he too got married and the way Zoya went through a bad marriage, he too had to face some bad situations in his marriage. And just like Zoya, he too remembered her on every point of life. Gradually life almost settled for him, when Zoya sent him the story of her. He never thought they both will get in touch like that.
Sorry Rachit, I might not have been able to describe your feelings, the way I did for Zoya. Its only because, Zoya was here, I have seen her smiling painfully and re-collecting herself after broken down, everyday. I am happy for both of you that you have re-connected. Believe me, Zoya is still same, when it comes to you. I can easily see those twinkles in her eyes, since the day, she had talked with you for the first time since years. For the outer world, she is reserved and hard to convince, but she can easily forget the difference of 11 years since you both spoke to each other, while talking with you. As far as I know, there is no one who can easily get into the shell Zoya has created around her but I am glad that you are one of them who reached to her heart easily. She has started listening to those old favorite songs again and humming them too, which I thought was never going to be. Thanks a lot for giving her littlest part of life because she surely will be able to make a life from it.
And to Zoya and Rachit,
Life has given a chance to both of you to re-live those lost years and coming ones. If you both take it rightly and understand the bond you shared, the feelings you both kept hidden in your hearts for years, the lonely moments when you craved for each other, you will be able to understand, there is something more than LOVE, that you are sharing. You are best friends, who can share anything and everything with each other without second thought and you both gave each other the best of yours. Not everyone is lucky to re-connect with lost love like this and live it for the remaining life. You both are fortunate to meet each other at a point of life, where you both are mature to understand what life requires and what this relationship does. And as far as you both can differentiate between right and wrong, you are going to nurture a beautiful bond, called Lovely Friendship :-).
I would like to end this part of story with some best words from Rachit,
We meet so many people in life for a reason…we feel strong connection to very very few of them, even for a bigger reason.
I am glad for both of you that you both are that biggest reason for each other to live happily…..
Cannot wait to write about both of yours meet-up after years, if both of you permit 🙂
And finally, I wish you both to experience the first meet up after long years, just like this –
we're_smiling_but_we-129888
 
To be continued …